Two men are sitting at the bar at the top of the Empire
State Building drinking, when the first guy turns to the other one and says
“You know, last week I discovered if you jump from the top of this building,
by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the wind around the building is so
intense it carries you back into the window”. The Bartender just shakes his
head in disapproval while wiping the bar, but says nothing.
The second guy says “What? Are you insane? There’s no way that could
happen!” No, it’s true” said the first guy, “let me prove it to you”.
He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and plummets toward the
street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the wind whips him in the
window, and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
The second guy is astonished. “You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but it
must’ve been a fluke. That was scientifically impossible!”
“No, I’ll prove it again” says the first man as he jumps. Again, just
as his body hurtles towards the street, the wind whips him into the 10th
floor window. He takes the elevator back to the bar.
Once upstairs, he successfully urges his dubious fellow drinker to try it.
“Well, what the heck,” the second guy says, “I’ve seen that it works, so
I’ll try it!”
He jumps over the balcony and rapidly plunges downwards …..his body hits the
pavement with a loud “splat”
Back upstairs, the bartender who had been silent the whole time turns to the
first drinker, and shakes his head and says ……..
“You know, Superman, you’re a real bastard when you’re pissed.”
The Scout leader took his troop on a camping trip. As they lay down for the
night, one of the scouts said, 'Skip, look up into the sky and tell me what you
see'.
The leader responded, 'I see millions and millions of stars'.
Scout: 'And what does that tell you?'
Leader: 'Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great
and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'
Scout: 'It tells me you forgot to pack the tent again'
What do you call a scout that is...
Being towed behind a boat: Skip
Hiding in a hole: Phil
Sleeping on your porch: Matt
Hanging on your living room wall: Art
Posted through your door each month: Bill
Camping on the beach: Sandy
Hiding in a pile of leaves: Russell
Floating in the lake: Bob
Sitting with a car on his head: Jack
Sitting in the sun too long: Wilt
Stuck in the latrine: John
Throwing up: Ralph (or Huey)
Rock climbing: Cliff
Struck by lightning: Rod
Shaving for the first time: Nick
Getting pushed underwater by another scout: Duncan
Coming home from camp: Dusty
Locked in a bank vault: Rich
